[csaa-forum] The Jack Bauer Guide for Early Career Academics

[Terry Flew]

Folks

Following this lively discussion, and particularly Glen Fuller's 
provocative posting, I wanted to lower the tone of discussion considerably, 
and offer some insights from '24' for Early Career Academics (Research or 
otherwise):

THE JACK BAUER GUIDE TO SURVIVAL AS AN EARLY CAREER ACADEMIC

1. Don't sleep;

2. Don't eat. Drug use only permitted when working undercover or 
undertaking ethnographic fieldwork;

3. Find out what a computer does between when you press the On button and 
when Cntl+Alt+Del comes up. You may not prevent a nuclear meltdown (as Jack 
did 2 weeks ago), but you will impress your IT staff enough for them to pay 
some attention to your requests to get the computer fixed;

4. If you print any material, get it off the printer ASAP. Under no 
circumstances leave it for your Dean, Head of School or Centre Director to 
find;

5. If you have an ex who is an Early Career Academic, keep a close check on 
their movements (This is doubly important if they are a Senior Academic). 
If your ex commences work at your School or Centre, they will almost 
certainly be an agent of your enemies, so you may have to kill them.

Best
Terry